I behold in fascination the vision before me, and it is so obvious that no one could ever be more blessed than myself. My unique excellence of beauty is unmatched by anyone. I am a total delight to gaze upon. Yet, I realize my reflection is only a mere hint of what people are actually given honor to witness when I humbly, but graciously decide to enthrall them with my presence.

My magnificence bespeaks itself whenever I enter into a room occupied with the more common variety of humans that inhabit the earth. It's a vulgarity, which someone of my caliber has to endure sometimes to occasionally appease either an unappreciative employer or family member. Of course, these ungrateful and servile people always seem to be surrounded with obnoxious friends that should be bowing at my feet instead of offering an extended hand. Admittedly though, it is delightful to know how envious they must feel when they partake of the glorious being which has chosen to come amongst them.

Intellectually inferior, their mundane conversations amount to no more than the ramblings of a nomadic pig herder. This is a somewhat flattering compliment compared to the fact, that the flatulence from the swine would be more entertaining than these babbling idiots. They dare, but never succeed in matching wits with the academically superior mind that I posses. My expertise goes without challenge on any subject that anyone would care to discuss. Alas, even my most simple and modest answers to the questions posed by these ignorant, and uneducated baboons stupefy them. Enduring these traumatic experiences always causes my perfect and unblemished complexion to pale. Why should anyone as significant as myself be subjected to such atrociousness?

That's a question that may never be answered.

I am solely responsible for all content,which is not meant to reflect anybody's actual personality. If it does, perhaps they should lighten up a bit.

C.E.Vance

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